TEHROR

A skinny young man whose life long dream is to become a bouncer. He has a knack for taking everything as un-serious as possible as well as laughing at his failures, and especially at others. TEHROR was voted “Best Rebound” from Wingman Magazine for his relentlessness of getting those who’ve just been heartbroken, back into the game. He was diagnosed as a child with Suicidal Sleep Walking and must, at all times, have a baby monitor in his room.

Atmospheric Adam

Adam is an aspiring meteorologist whose had extensive training reading google.com/weather. His meteorologist rating on weather.com is in the top 95 percentile for the past three years. He’s been inducted into the weather reading hall of fame with his undefeated predictions from the summer season of 2008. Adam and his wife currently have a child on the way and he reads tomorrows forecast across the United State’s to his wife’s belly every night.

Dr. Bruce Burdock

Dr. Bruce Burdock, Ph.D, MBA, CFA, CPA, DBAG comes to us from his extensive research as a Forensic Astrologist. After graduating with his AA from Modesto Junior College, Dr. Burdock went on to finish his doctorate at Yale. Dr. Burdock is currently working on rewriting the entire dictionary. Dr. Burdock spends his spare time giving back to the community, donating to charities for starving bulimics, and is currently on the Ironing Board of Directors.

Chodem

Chodem comes to us from a long line of sexual harassment cases and a world record number of lewd public acts on film. When Chodem was born his aura was so offensive the doctor actually spanked the feelings out of his tookus. Ever since, Chodem has as much control and feeling on his behind than a stroke victim does the side of their face. This has since fueled the fire for Chodems offensive tirades and his fearless about getting his ass kicked. He won’t feel it.

Krytos

Krytos has come to us thanks to his mother and father. One night in the early 80’s, his parents madly in love, did a “special hug” to create him. Krytos came to us as a janitor, specializing in the floor waxing machine, and has since worked his way up to our intern but still keeps his office in the janitors closet. We don’t treat Krytos very well, and he knows it, but the future doesn’t really recognize Krytos even being in it, so he won’t leave us any time soon.

Metro Mike

Mike is our CLG (Chief Of Looking Good) here at TEHROR. The movie Bruno, was actually a real life adaption on the life of Metro Mike. Mike, when he was just a newborn, actually did the interior designing of his own bedroom. Mike’s grand-uncle, Alfonso, is actually the pioneer and first recorded person to actually pop their collar on purpose. Posts from Metro Mike are rare due to him always busy being fabulous.